Friday, March 6, 2009

Marriage isn't rocket science?


I came across this interesting article Why Men Cheat which was recently aired on Oprah. It's very interesting and basic principle that the basic reason that men cheat is not because they want "sex" it's because they feel underappreciated at home. My opinion it is a fundamental weakness that leads you to cheat and that you need to take personal responsibility for your own actions on this issue. When it comes to cheating there are so many lives that can be altered unrepairably it is hard to justify any good reason to cheat in my mind. This is an excerpt from the show from marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman

Top reason for cheating?

What's the number one reason men cheat? Ninety-two percent of men said it wasn't primarily about the sex.

"The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures," Gary says. "Men are very emotional beings. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that."

Josh says he cheated on his wife, Jennifer, because he felt underappreciated at home and started feeling insecure. "That insecurity was really the catalyst," he says. "I didn't feel comfortable going to the one person in the world I should be going to, which is my wife." Oprah.com: The signs you could be missing

With daily worries like bills, children and chores, Gary says it's easy for couples to drift away from appreciating one another like they should. Gary says the other woman often makes the man feel better about himself.

"[She] makes them feel different. Makes them feel appreciated, admired," he says. "Men look strong, look powerful and capable. But on the inside, they're insecure like everybody else. They're searching and looking for somebody to build them up to make them feel valued."

Men have a winning mentality, Gary says. Just think about how the men in your life act while watching their favorite sports teams.

"They love to win," Gary says. "Does he have ownership in the team? It looks like that. But as long as they're in the game, even to the very end, they'll watch. Once it's a blowout and they know their team can't win, television goes off. And what a lot of men will say to me through this research is, 'I just felt like I couldn't win.' Now they might not have been great guys to live with, I'm not saying it's her fault, again. But if you want to secure your relationship and understand and have the knowledge of men, make them feel like they're winning with the things that they do for you."

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